Life has definitely taken some interesting turns since the last time I wrote, but the main and bigger event is that I am leaving in a matter of months.
Yes, the time has come where I am now living consciously of my limited time. I really am trying to make the best of it by volunteering in other departments, hanging out with more friends, and doing more things.
Getting rid of my computer was one of the best ideas I have ever thought of. Within a matter of days I had done more things with friends and coworkers than I would have in 1 week.
You never really know how much of an effect something has on you until you get rid of it. So, thank God I got rid of it! Yay!
. . . . .
I lately have been going through some hard, personal tests. There were days where I just sat in my dark dungeon of a room and cried at the thought of not being able to overcome what I was going through.
I have talked to many friends about the situation and have found a ton of enlightenment.
This is probably one of the hardest times I have had to go through in my life, but at the same time, it has beared the most fruit.
See, I now know what to do to overcome this test. I am taking charge of all my actions and being aware of how I interact with others.
I finally understand the fact that we are all equal. No one is superior to others. Just because someone is older, doesn't mean they are better.I see ideas and opinions as offerings of thought, and not as a statement of true reality. The idea that one is right and the other is wrong is one of the greatest tests of the human experience, because one will forever live in ignorance and pride without even opening the eyes to other realities.
I am finally able to recognize my worth in this world, and to be able to overcome the thought of being inferior to others. We are all worthy, equal, and loved beings.
This single test has opened my eyes to my soul, to my life, to answers of my long lived questions, and I am forever grateful. I will never be the same after this. Thank God.
. . . .
I look at the skyline of the radiant-orange sunset, hear the birds chanting their love for one another, feel the spirit of my surroundings, and I wonder how I am going to live without this place. A year has passed so fast and I feel as though there is still more to do.
I am beyond thankful for what I have learned and gone through in my time of service, and I can only hope to pray for more clarity and confirmations.
One day, I will be soul that I am meant to be, and I am already one stepping stone closer than yesterday.
Ian
